


What I need to do and what I need to lose

by ToyCupcakes



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Character Study, Hurt No Comfort, Loss of Trust, Oma Kokichi Has Trust Issues, Oma Kokichi-centric, Other, Out of Character Oma Kokichi, Sad Ending, Trust Issues, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-11 05:34:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28489920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToyCupcakes/pseuds/ToyCupcakes
Summary: “Is there anyone who would grieve my dead?”A bit of study in what I think Oma Kokichi is like
Relationships: Gokuhara Gonta & Oma Kokichi, Iruma Miu & Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi & Everyone, Oma Kokichi & Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	What I need to do and what I need to lose

Kokichi was not naïve. He did like to pull pranks and he can be a bit… too much to handle, he sometimes acted like a child and lied a lot. But he was not naïve. If anything, he was the least naïve in this killing game. All that talk of trust and friendship was pure bullshit, he knows how the word and people is, they just suck.

And in the end, he was right, but it was still sad so see Rantaro and Kaede gone for such a stupid reason, it just wasn’t worth it… He hated this… so much.

Kokichi didn’t want to admit it, but he was scare… scare to die, scare of who could be next, so he lied… more than he ever did, yeah sure he was a liar, he lied when he thought it was necessary as leader of DICE, it was part of the job, **of who he was.** But now, it was more like a mechanism of defense, what he needed to do to get out alive from this hell. He was so scared.

There was a constant conflict inside him, between wanting to help save everyone and the horrible fear of betrayal and death that could happen at any moment, so he became that mess unintentionally. He lied hoping to push everyone away but wished at the same time to be close to everyone, he wished Gonta just stopped to try and be his friend and go away but at the same time he was happy for the chance and to have someone.

He was glad that Maki hated him but also wished that she could just see what he never meant harm. He didn’t want to joke around with Miu in their own weird kinky way but at the same time he didn’t want it to stop.

**He wanted Saihara to mind his own fucking business and stop to try to figure him out but at the same time he wanted Saihara to continue.**

It was a weird way to connect with others to be honest…

As all of that was happening, he was also slowly making plans to free everyone, or at least, more than to people, Kokichi put two and two together quickly; only two would come out alive and he wasn’t going to let that happened. He was going to give the mastermind of this game the biggest: “Fuck you” they have ever seen.

He worked with Miu to make different weapons and other stuff that could help, getting closer to the inventor in the prosses. Kokichi heard her out, they were more similar than he originally thought.

**_“A betrayal is going to happen”_ **

And damn fuck she was right… That was the last prove he needed know he was fucking right from the start. You. Can’t. Trust. In. This. Game. Catching a wind of Miu’s plan to kill him wasn’t that hard, she was a bad liar after all. The way she acted raised so many red flags at once, when he proved that you can still feel pain and that somehow everything is still connected, he just fucking knew what was coming. Miu called for him, he asked Gonta to come with him and hide in case something happened, wishing deep down he was wrong and Miu just, who knows, wanted to talk about the weapons or declare her love for him, anything was better than the possibility she wanted to kill him. They were friends now, weren’t they? She just wouldn’t do that… even with the flashback light as a motive. She wouldn’t, right?

“I’m sorry…” Gonta jumped before Miu could touch Kokichi and killed her. All that cut deep down, he couldn’t be around Gonta knowing what happened, Gonta didn’t remember and it was better that way, the memory of what the flashback light showed him was deep in Kokichi’s mind, but something felt off, he knew it, like a lie… he pushed the thought away, right now he needed to do something about this mess but failed.

His distrust, his wishes for the ones that were still alive to not hate him, the guilt of Miu’s dead, all of that was making him a bigger mess than he already was, he made so many stupid stuffs during this trial that ended with that goddamn detective knowing that Gonta did the murder. The guilt was too much, his mask; the one created for this game, broke, the only person who could see something good in him and could be consider a friend to him was going to die and he was aware he was the only one to blame. Oh so sweet of Gonta to ask to the others to please forgive him, that’s Gonta for you…

During Gonta’s execution, something clicked in Kokichi’s mind or more like; just a plan to make sure to end this, he quickly put back his mask once the eyes of everyone were on him again.

**_“Who cares about that idiot?!”_ **

He did, and a lot.

**_“You are alone Kokichi, and you’ll always will!”_ **

He knows that Saihara… he knows, but right now, it was what it needed to be done to finish this. But those words haunted him like no tomorrow.

**_“Trusthworthy??”_ **

Man, he was, he just knew it, he stood tall after Kaede’s dead and confronted him after he made fun of Kaito, he stood beside his friend all this time.

He didn’t notice how much Shuichi Saihara has affected him until now… In his last moments of life. He wished their last interactions weren’t so cold or full of doubt. He looked at the press that was slowly making it ways down to crush him and began to remember how the detective tried his best to understand him, he will miss those simple times… Because even if he somehow ended up alive, who would want him around? He knew everyone hated him and wouldn’t trust him anymore, deep down though, he was wishing that they saw that he was doing this for them, to end the game, for those who died thanks to this sick hell. Were they going to be able to see that? No… he was a villain in their eyes, no way in hell were they going to understand that. But somehow, that was okay to Kokichi, because he was going to save them from more pain. Because they hated him, they wouldn’t suffer the pain of his lost because it wouldn’t be a lost, they would breathe in relief and say finally, that what will happen, yeah… he was okay with that. He pictured a perfect ending, it was perfect because he wasn’t there, because Shuichi and the rest were alive with who they care about.

He heard a small sob, he didn’t need to know who, but why was Kaito sobbing? Eh he probably wanted to make him feel better somehow. But that was the last thing he heard before dying and that sound brought the last thought before the press did its job.

**_“Is there anyone who would grieve my dead?”_ **

**Author's Note:**

> So this was messy, I thought about it in the night and wrote it as soon as I woke up. Kokichi is a hard character to write and I wanted to make a character study since I'm planning to write some Danganronpa fanfics and he is my fav character. I wasn't able to put everything I wanted about my view on him and I think I could have made the lost of trust better, but it did help me in understanding his character more.
> 
> I guess is clear that to me Kokichi has a messy interior that he hides, to me he struggles alot with his own morals in the game but he is also ready to break them for a greater good, wich only give him more struggles. In short Kokichi is a mess lmao.
> 
> I wish I would have wrote more about Kokichi and Shuichi's relationship but that is a whole study on it's own lmao.
> 
> Like my writing? Support me on [Ko-fi!](https://ko-fi.com/toy_cupcakes23)


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